Instead of making New Years resolutions this year, which probably like most of you I never seem to keep, I decided to make a list of some of the things I have learned and discovered throughout the years. These are little bits of wisdom and truths that in knowing make my life happier and simpler than it was before I figured these things out. Hopefully most of you can learn from, or at least relate to some of the things I have learned…
1. It really is the small things in life that make the biggest difference. I know this is a saying that most of you are probably quite familiar with, but it is so true. If I am having a bad day and I have a conversation with someone who says something really nice such as telling me how much I mean to them, this small conversation has the immense power of changing my entire outlook for the rest of the day. On the contrary if I am driving and someone flips me off or yells at me for no reason this can have the power to put me in a really bad mood. Whether we like it or not, the people around us and the small things they do have the capability of changing our day. This is why we should be careful in how we react to others in that what we do could make or break someone’s day. I also believe this is why we should not be .shy about letting others know how much they mean to us.
2. Money isn’t everything, but it matters. I am fortunate enough now to have a job where I do not really have to work a lot of hours to make enough to live off of. However, I have discovered several things: (1) When I have extra money it tends to burn a hole in my pocket and I waste it more on frivolous things such as clothes and going out to eat (2) If you are not doing a job you love the money is not enough to make you happy. As I mentioned in a previous blog, my focus is more on grad school and teaching now because I believe this will bring me the most long-term happiness (3) Money matters in that being stressed about money can really impact your entire life. Trust me, I’ve been there. there have been times in my life where I was negative -$500 in my bank account and didn’t know how I was going to be able to make rent that month. This is probably the most stressful feeling in the entire world, and it is hard to enjoy life when you are feeling like this.
3. In order for others to like you, you have to love yourself. This is another cliche saying, but it’s so true. Honestly, there have been times where I’ve not been feeling great about myself, and worked promotions where no one wanted to even talk with me. On the contrary, if I am in a good mood and feeling good about myself it is often contagious. Whatever we put out there is what we get back.
4. Most people don’t know themselves well enough in their early twenties to be in a serious relationship. Before anyone gets mad at me for this one, I would like to say that some people do, but they are the exception to the rule. There are plenty of people who get married in their early twenties and lead perfectly happy and content marriages. However, I don’t think most of us are ready to settle down that early anymore. When I was 20 I was in a serious relationship, and lived with that guy until I was 24. However, at that point in my life I still acted like a kid, and was certainly not ready for marriage or kids of my own. I will state though that people mature at different rates, and that it could be quite possible that I matured slower than a lot of girls.
5. Moderation is the key to life. So cliche, but so true once again. I don’t really deny myself anything (except of course truly harmful things such as illegal drugs), and I think I am a happier person than I was when I was younger because I’ve learned to indulge. I drink coffee on a regular basis, but not more than two cups per day. I drink wine, beer, and occasionally mixed drinks, but usually not more than 1 or 2 in a night and not more than once or twice per week. I eat chocolate and sweets on a daily basis, but again not usually more than a couple of pieces. I am also not afraid to: lose myself in a good book for several hours, occasionally get a professional massage, have an official “movie day” and sit around and watch movies all day, go shopping and splurge on something I’ve been wanting for a long time. I am a firm believer in the notion that life is short, so you should not deny yourself any of the little things that will make you happy, as long as they are within your reach.
6. You can do anything you put your mind to. I’ve always believed that you have as much willpower as you believe you do. If you truly believe you can quit smoking you can. If you believe you can run that half marathon you can. If you believe you can make straight A’s, why the hell not?
7. You shouldn’t care so much about what other people think. When I was younger I cared way too much about what others thought. 3 or 4 years ago when I was doing a promotion if someone was rude to me I would have slapped them right back with a verbal insult. Many people don’t believe this about me, but although I’m ashamed to admit it, it’s true. On the contrary, in the past few years I’ve learned that people are usually rude because of their own insecurities. Either they are trying to get attention from their friends, or they are feeling so bad about themselves they feel they must lash out at someone else in order to try to fill that hole within themselves. I’ve learned that when someone acts in a rude manner towards you it is best to ignore him or her, or even give that person a smile and say something nice in return. Likewise, through doing promotions for so many years I feel I have learned a lot about the psychology of people, and it’s funny how so many people say and do so many of the same things as each other without even realizing it. Most of the insulting things people say or do in trying to be funny are things I’ve heard 100,000,000,000 times before.
8. Everyone lives life on their own timeline. A friend and I were actually discussing this a few days ago, and it is so true. While some people my age are married with several kids, some are single and trying to build flourishing careers, while some are simply dating and searching for Mr. Right, and some are still partying every night like they did in college. Just because all these people are doing things differently, doesn’t mean that one person is more “right” than the next. In fact, all these people might have the same end result twenty years from now. Every person is different, and we all need to make our way through life at different speeds.
9. It is important to have same gendered friends. In my teens and early twenties most of my friends were guys, and most of my relationships centered around whatever guy I was dating at that time. However, within the past several years I have learned how important it is to have a good solid group of female friends. Females are able to listen and give me unbiased advice in a way that men are often not able to. Females are able to offer a good shoulder to cry on without it being awkward. They are able to go shopping with me and truly let me know if my butt looks too big in a certain outfit. May I just say I am very thankful I have learned the beauty of having meaningful friendships with members of the same sex.





